Alternative Fashion = Attention Seeking?

A few months ago my superior at work made which i deem to be kinda inappropriate comment and it's been playing on my mind ever since (I know this speaks volumes about me as a person and doesn't paint me in the best light). The comment was something along the lines of that i try too hard to be alternative and it comes across as desperate  and i'm just fishing for compliments.

This idea had really played on my mind as there have been some follow up comments such as "remove your piercing and your hair colour and you're just like everyone else". i do not understand what they are trying to accomplish with these small digs but i would be lying if i said it didn't get to me sometimes and send me into a bit of an identity crisis. 

For context i should probably explain i personally don't think i am the most alternative looking person, i tend to colour my hair a lot and i can sometimes wear a heavy eyeliner, my only weird piercing is my septum and yes i do favour the colour black. but i do not think i am the most alternative looking person. maybe not normal but i cant fit myself into a specific sub culture as i dabble in a bit of goth, a bit of punk and sometimes even a bit of kawaii (I find myself drawn to Menhera). 

So i ask myself.. Am i too try hard? do i try too hard to be different?

The answer is yes and no.. I do not try hard to fit myself into a fashion sub-culture, i simply like the styles i like and i've liked these styles since i started seeing the rise of it in about 2007. but do i try hard to find these things? Yes, i do. I try hard to find clothes i like and feel confident in that i can't exactly find on the high street. As for my hair, a lot of effort goes into the upkeep of my ever changing hair but i do it because i love it! i don't feel good about myself with brown hair, as someone who wears mainly black my hair is a splash of colour and there are millions of different combinations and styles i can put it in. 

The next part is my style may be attention grabbing but it's not attention seeking. There is a difference. I don't do these things for the attention, i actually just want to feel good about myself. I?ts nice to hear compliments but i don't go looking for them.

It would be very easy for me to chuck a normal colour on my hair, find a crop top, high waisted jeans and white trainers like everyone else my age and fit in but in doing that i'm not being true to myself and it's fair enough if you are one of those girls who follow fashion trends, that's your choice and you're probably rockin' it.

This may seem like I'm just having a rant because one person made a few rude comments about me but what i wanted to get to with this post is a bit of positiveness and a message. 

With today's standards females are expected to look a certain way and we constantly tear each other down for being too different or too normal, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, not dressing for a body type. We don't want to hear it ourselves so why are we saying this about other girls? when i see a plus size girl in a crop top i don't think "Gross, that's not dressing for your body type" i think "damn, that takes some balls! i envy your confidence" and honestly sometimes one girls confidence is contagious. Let's not bring each other down, let's build each other up!

Trying hard to look a certain way doesn't make you a wanna be, it makes you committed to a look. attention grabbing is not the same as attention seeking and there's no need to de-value someone needlessly and if you are doing that maybe take a deep look into your own insecurities and in trying to find the features you like about others you may be able to discover what you love about yourself.

The Progression of a "Lad's Night Out"

The day has arrived, i left the comfort of my home and ventured out on a Saturday night. Granted it's a rare occasion but in celebration of two friends Birthdays and the joy of having quit my job  it felt like the social norm to join my small group of friends in some shameless binge drinking... Or what should have been shameless that is but instead turned out to be a rather entertaining display of "One Upping" for lack of a better word. These are my observations of "The Lads On Tour"

As someone who hangs around with a predominantly male crowd there is a noticeable "Who has the biggest dick competition" and from what i can gather the winner gets to be Johnny Big Bollox for the night, this competition seems to be most prominent when there is alcohol involved and can start small and relatively harmless. 

It starts with a penny in a glass and a chant and you had best drink your way down to that penny before the chant ends otherwise you are met with the most cock shrivelling sound a man can hear.. The disapproving boo-ing of your mates around you. 

This will then progress to shots, how many can you down? and as the alcohol contents increases the bar lowers and the more offensive the jokes become which then will lead to gross out stories. 

So perhaps Dave will tell you about that time he was fucking a girl and she called him Daddy to which Tom will respond with a story of how his girlfriend farted during sex and finally Harry will chime in with that time a German hooker took a steamy dump on his chest and contracted Cholera. Stories to pass on for generations to come. One day they will sing songs of your triumphs. 

So far this is pretty tame for a night out, right? but then part of the group may slunk off to see who will partake in the taking of drugs leaving the few who refuse labelled as pussies and whipped but the beauty of a good group of friend is that despite the name calling, you stick together. Finally perhaps after a few hiccups with minor fallings out that are resolved quickly then mocked the rest of the evening someone does something that is maybe a little too far. 

This tends to range from whipping your dick out, exchanging bodily fluids with a friend, taking home that 60 year old who's name consists of two adjectives, my personal favourite is accepting a car park BJ from the the lovely local alcoholic and vomiting midway through but still desperately begging her to continue like a petulant child despite the fact her husband in a few feet away looking for her.

And thus the tone is at its lowest point and it's time to down the remainder of your pint and venture off into your local kebab shop. No need to order, these guys know you and your hot wings are cooking because if you haven't destroyed your liver tonight you can best bet you're ruining your ass-hole because in the morning  nothing says good night out like a thumping head-ache and a liquid poo.

In observing this as an alien to much social interaction it's easy to see how things can get out of hand and even dangerous when a group is in a constant attempt to one up each-other and there have been many situations where it has gotten dangerous and has sent people to hospital or even caused death but the reality is 90% of the time it doesn't lead to much but a bit of shame the next day and that is because my friends seem to share a strong bond through their stupid acts. They know each-others psychical limits and will intervene if they feel one will get hurt. There's this insane comfort level and trust that comes with this sort of distasteful behaviour and knowing that verbally there is no limit and you are free to speak your mind openly and honestly and that in turn causes a strong bond.

This post has absolutely no point or moral. Its just a very interesting phenomenon of fuckery to watch play out.

REVIEW! The Promised Neverland (Anime)

Spoiler Free Synopsis

The Promised Neverland follows three orphans Emma; The family orientated cutest ginger, Norman; The sweet, placid middle man and Ray; The anti-social, bookworm, smarty pants. When our three  young protagonists discover something amiss with their orphanage the three of them must outsmart the adults in a battle of wits and mind games to solve the mysteries of Grace Field House.

Easily the best new anime i've watched in a while TPN had so many twists and turns it will keep you on your feet and even the audience will be trying to figure out the mysteries and the mindgames played by the characters.

Before i get into the spoiler section of this post which you may not want to read if you have not watched the anime or read the manger i would like to highly recommend this as both an anime and a manga. The anime is very accurate to the manga but the manga provides small tidbits of life before such disequilibrium takes places which is honestly rather cute and a nice little addition to allow yourself to become even more invested in the characters.

                                               (Ray)                    (Emma)             (Norman)

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Although this contains spoilers and the first plot twist i am going to make an attempt to keep most of this series mysteries out of this post because if you have already watched it you know and if you haven't i want to pique your interest enough to watch it without giving it all away. I would also like to note that i have actually already read all the manga (That's how sucked in to this i was) but i will only be reviewing the anime. The anime is honestly so true to the manga  that you can even pick out exact panels from the manga and see it in the anime which is something i actually really appreciate.

                                                               (Emma and Mum)
                         
So we start in Grace Field House, an orphanage run by a "Mum". The kids live a happy and healthy life and are given a test each day and are ranked on their scores. From the glance of an innocent child the ranks are meaningless, a simple daily exercise to track their progress and encourage abut of health competition to reach the top ranks. All children in the house are adopted by their 12th birthday.

Our three main protagonists are the highest scoring kids and oldest in the orphanage. One night is is time for one of the younger kids to be sent off for adoption after a day of fun playing in the sun, although the occasion is sad all the kids are genuinely happy for the little girl. When mum takes the child to the gate leaving the rest of the kids in the house Emma discovers the young girl's favourite toy has been left behind. With Ray's encouragement she enlists the help of Norman as the fastest runner to help her to the gate in the hopes of returning the toy bunny. It is then they discover their little friend is there at the gate but not how they remember them. The little girl is dead in a jar surrounded by demons. Disturbed enough Mum enters the scene to confirm the fact that this girl is dead and she is happy to serve the demons. understandably distraught Emma and Norman run back to the house disturbed but in their fear left the toy bunny. and so ensues the story and premise of the anime. They must find a way to escape but with mum hot on their heels  not everything is what it seems.

That is as much as i am going to tell you of the story and i've left out crucial details so as not to give too much away. This all takes place in the first episode so there is so much more to come and honestly this has been the most nail-biting and intense anime i have watched in a long time. My love for Death Note comes from the mind games between L and Light but i could honestly say with confidence that this actually tops Death Note for me (And that is really saying something as Death Note is what got me into anime and nothing has quite come close to it in the same way as this anime has)

And can i just mention the animation of this series? The style is honestly so great. The kids are so cutesy which contrasts with obviously the more serious storyline and some of it (On the adults) can be kinda creepy. For Example Sister Krone has some interesting scenes where she can go from sweet sister Krone to down right demonic! and the switch between Mum around the kids and other scenes where she seems more calculated. The style is just beautiful and really creative in its approach.

                                             (Sister Krone Looking Like A Titan)

My final point i want to make is character development. the ways both kids and adults change and react in different situations. the more you find out about each character the more you can sympathise and even with the adults, the series antagonists you may even end up changing your minds about them when you find they are merely a product of environment. i don't want to give too much away but i find myself obsessed with "Mum" and Emma.

I think it's pretty clear that i rate this show a lot and the manga even more and i honestly give this a 5 star rating. 10/10. 100%. i can't recommend this enough and although i know what happens in the mange i cannot wait to see it play out on my screen in season two.

Why I Fell Out Of Love With Horror

SO perhaps this blog post is pointless but in saying that most of my blog posts are because nobody really reads them however i do love to write them. Unfortunately it turns out that working a demoralising customer service job is the number one killer of creativity, why? because at the end of the day i am so emotionally exhausted from both bombardment from both customer and management i am much too tired to come home and write and my days off consist of staring at my ceiling blankly in my PJ's dreading work the next day. But it's time to bust out of this rut by writing again in the hopes of getting the creative juices flowing in and maybe i'll even find some inspiration to return to my art. so we're going to start off with an extremely informal rant.

I normally write about movies because frankly film is my passion, it's what i studied in college and even got accepted into university for (To which i stupidly bailed on) and i mainly focused on horror because i always loved how you can really feel in the moment of a good horror, you can feel the characters fear and become apart of this crazy, freaky world. When i watch a film i want it to leave such an impression that i will be thinking about it for the next few days. Horror done right has a amazing way of leaving that impression on you, maybe not in the most positive way as the can provoke paranoia or fear but thrilling nonetheless.

And this is where i have fallen out with horror because new horror tends to not leave on this impression on my anymore, at first i assumed that it was possible just due to growing up or becoming desensitised to horror but then i watched a few and analysed further and came the the conclusion that horrors are getting more high budget but ultimately cheaper in value due to the dependence on jump scares. A jump scare can freak me out for about 3 seconds but nothing about it is memorable and does a jump scare freak you out with visuals? not its a sudden loud noise or rise in music. its the equivalent of a friend jumping out at you from behind a door. You jolt, your heart beats faster then you laugh it off and call them a dick.
Modern horrors often rely on jump scares alone and honestly it always feels lazy and cheap. I'm not saying this is with all modern horror but it is the unfortunate majority and makes me and many like me give up on the concept all together.

Compare Rob Reiner's Misery with John R. Leonetti's Annabelle. Both try and create a foreboding atmosphere and create tension. Annabelle gives you a quick jump scare and another 5 minutes later. Misery creates this tense, edge of your seat atmosphere. You watch intensely begging the character to hurry up and get back to his bed. Your futile attempts to tell him that "She's coming back, hurry up!". The way you remember the slow paced scenes, how they let you process everything that's happening and you can put yourself in the protagonists shoes.

That is my little rant about how i've fallen out with horror, i will still watch the classic and hell i'll probably still review them but don't expect many new horrors on this blog. From now on although my writing probably will still be mainly film based, i am just going to write about anything i want and i will make an effort to try and write once a week. We'll see. goodbye for now.

REVIEW! Monster Musume: Everyday Life with Monster Girls

Now i'm going to try my best with this because normally when i do a review, i watch what i'm going to watch. Think for an hour or so about what i want to discuss and then get straight onto my laptop and review, however my boyfriend is a massive shit and lost my laptop charger and my laptop does not work without its charger. but here we go, two days after finishing the anime.

Monster Musume is an anime about monster girls who join the Interspecies Monster Exchange Act where monster go to live with humans. The rules are that humans and monster cannot have sex or harm each other, if they do the humans will be arrested and the monsters deported.
We start off with Miia who is a Lamia moving in with the human  Kurusu. She quickly falls in love with him and repeatedly tried to have sex with him despite the fact he objects. Through a series of odd situations Kurusu had more and more monsters moving in with him all fighting for his affections staring with Papi the Harpy, Centorea the Centaur, Suu the Slime, Mero the Mermaid and Rachnera the Arachne and other secondary characters.

Now i'm not overly sure what i think about this anime which is strange because it was silly but i enjoyed it (Especially after watching Watamote which was fairly depressing) I enjoyed it however i know it's stupid at times. It's one of those ones where it takes a certain type of person to enjoy it, it's not for everyone. Now i am someone who has spent my whole youth (and some of my adult life) playing harem styled dating sims and it's a genre i really enjoy. Although one thing i will say, i probably would have enjoyed it more if there wasn't essentially an orgasm feature in every episode.

Now lets get into characters. Unpopular opinion time, i do not like Miia. I know she is the main love interest but i don't like her, to me she is just irritating.

 Next up is Mero. She has all the ingredients to be my favorite character however she was just not featured enough and we don't really get much of a chance to love Mero so she is quite low down on my list.

Centorea is an good character, heavily featured so you can make up your mind if you like or dislike her and i think i like her a lot especially with her contradicting personality.

Papi is another heavily featured character and when i first started watching she was my favorite (Until the two next characters came along) She was cute and hyper and lots of fun to watch.. (well except the egg episode that was a little uncomfortable)

Suu. I didn't think much of Suu at first but she slowly grew on me, He has that cute naive thing going on whilst being totally unaware of how pervy shes being. It oddly nice

And now for my absolutely favorite character. I feel like she didn't get too much screen time yet she still ended up being my favorite. inner bondage freak here. Rachnera was scary and cute at the same time and this is coming from someone who hates spiders. I also think shes the most badass too.

I would probably give this anime a 7/10, would give it a higher rating of the characters were given more of a back story and more dimension but other then that it was enjoyable (although i did wish they would stop having sex with each other every five minutes)

For my next anime i would like to watch something a little less sexualized. also.. I would love to see an anime with monster guys instead of girls, that would be a dream come true!

REVIEW! Watamote.

Synopsis from Wikipdedia

Fifteen-year-old Tomoko Kuroki believed that she would become popular upon entering high school because she had become well-versed in the world of otome games. In reality, she finds that she has become an unsociable loner and she is forced to take a long hard look at herself for the first time in years. The story follows Tomoko as she attempts to improve her social status as she progresses through high school.

Yes i have just stolen the plot from wikipedia because i just really want to get into talking about this anime and i'm not even too sure where to start. I guess i will start with Characters, the main one being Tomoko Kuroki. Now for this style of anime where we only focus on one character and only see what she sees (We don't get any one else's perspective, every scene involves her) you have to have a pretty likable character to keep people's interest, and in fact Tomoko is not overly likeable, she is in fact quite the opposite of many main protagonists in anime. She is not an attractive character and she dresses differently to the characters i'm used to seeing, It is also abundantly clear that Tomoko has social anxiety and at the very beginning of the anime is in denial about it, she blames everyone else often referring to people as "Bitches" and implying that they are slutty.

SPOILER ALERT !!


part way through the series she realizes she is in denial and tries to sort herself out without blaming anyone else and realizes that she doesn't want to be popular, She just doesn't want to be alone.

This is an anime that really does hit home with me and i will be pulling specific scenes out in a bit to display why because i think this anime was depicted anxiety very well. I really did relate to Tomoko and her need for companionship yet the struggle to socialize, more specifically it took me back to my school years where all i wanted was a friend, and i'll be honest, a few parts made me cry (Maybe im just hormonal though)

1. Red Light District

Now there are a lot of scenes where Tomoko is shown to be overwhelmed and become rather scatter brained and can't decide what to do or what to say to make herself sound cool (Which often comes out wrong) however this scene i think depicts true anxiety as someone who has experienced this many times. A point where all you can do is run and hope you make it to safety  where you can catch your breath and clear your mind

2. Phone call to Yuu

There is a Scene where Tomoko gets a phone call from her childhood "Bitch Friend" Yuu to cancel their meeting up for a movie (Which Tomoko was vastly over prepared for) because she has to work. Without hearing her explanation Tomoko immediately jumps to the conclusion that she has done something wrong and Yuu hates her and no longer wants to be her friend because Yuu is too good for her now. Of course this is not the case, it is Tomoko's fear of being alone taking over.

3. Watch Me Light Fireworks 

After missing out on watching the fireworks after school ends Tomoko wants to see some so she asks her brother to come light some. When he refuses she asks if he could just watch her do it from the window because she just doesn't want to be alone. I think this demonstrates when Tomoko realizes that she just wants some company regardless of weather she is liked or not.

4. Escaping Reality

Tomoko will often put herself into a fantasy to pass the time while she is alone (To make things more bearable) Normally her appearance will be altered slightly to an older looking girl without bags under her eyes. Now this one really did bring back memories for me as i would do the same when i was younger (And even now, putting myself into my own fantasy is the only way i can actually sleep) and in similar form too, putting a more attractive version of myself in anime and such. I don't know if anyone else related as much as i did though.

I don't really know what else to say about this anime only that it may not be for everyone but give it a try, although it does deal with the topic of social anxiety there is some pretty good satire in there too.

I give it a 9/10

I wont give it a 10 because i'm completely undecided on the ending. I wont tell what happens however i cannot tell if she had taken a big step forward or a step back, it seems pretty open to interpretation 

REVIEW! Parasyte The Maxim (Series)

This is a series recommended by my friend but he refused to tell me any of the story-line, EVEN A BASIC SYNOPSIS in case he over hyped it. So i went in watching this completely oblivious and i'll tell you what, i don't regret it for a second.



SPOILERS AHEAD!!

Let's zoom through the story line shall we. I will not give any major details because if you have not watched already, i really want you to. If you;re not going to watch it you can go ahead and read someone elses review. Ok Shinichi is a regular high school student when something happens to him (Standard Anime). When he is sleeping a parasyte gets under the skin of his arm and makes its way up but he stops it going any further by wrapping his headphones around his arm. He wakes up in the morning to find out it had eaten his arm and is acting as it. It is curious and learns about the humans  and we find out ir does not have emotions and its prime instinct is to kill and eat humans. I'm going to leave it here because things get a little complicated and i think you should watch it if you have not because i don;t want to make it look like i'm over hypeing it but... THE HYPE IS REAL!


i love this anime though i am rather disappointed that we didn't find out more about the Parasytes such as where they come from. admittedly i did not notice this until one of my friends pointed it out and now it bugs me. DAMN HER! but i think this is actually a new favorite and i hope they make a second series. Need i say more?

****
4/5 stars all the way!