REVIEW! Freddy vs Jason (2003)

YAY A GOOD MOVIE!

One more movie to go and that is

Friday the 13th (2009)

SPOILER ALERT!!




I want to start this off by saying that i didn't know there was a whole other Elm Street franchise, I watched the First movie that was bought out in 1984 and the newest one in 2010 so i might have to do an whole franchise review from start to finish like i did this one. But anyway, The intro tells us Freddy's story of how he died, what he became when he died and how he is now powerless because all the people of Elm Street forgot him. He then goes on to tell us that he found someone who can make them remember and on screen we see Jason's hockey mask, so i guess you can say they start the film as allies. (This is set after Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday) and so Jason goes on his killing spree and it scares everyone which gives Freddy the power to come back, i don;t think the deaths in between are overly important but now both Freddy and Jason are on a killing rampage. Knowing that there are two killers after them the team of Teens make a plan to pull Freddy out of one of their dreams so Jason and Freddy will fight (Some how i didn't pick this up while watching the movie, maybe i was texting someone back at this point but apparently it's said that in hell Freddy disguised himself as Mrs. Voorhees to make Jason go out and kill again. I would've thought when Jason when to hell his mother would've already been there but okay, let's roll with this). They successfully pull Freddy out of the dream and as hoped the begin fighting. It's typical but i do love the binary opposites element in this. Obviously they're both evil but the whole Freddy's weakness is fire and Jason's weakness is water. I just really enjoy that aspect of it. but yeah, fight scene. They do a lot of fighting and end up on the dock. Just as it looks like Freddy has the upper hand after slicing Jason's fingers off and stealing his machete, beating him up with it then sticking his craws in Jason's eyes the surviving two teens blow up the dock. Just as this is happening Jason fists Freddy.... Of course i mean punching him through the stomach and clenching his insides (You thought i was going all fan fiction on you) while Freddy stabs Jason with his own Machete then Jason rips Freddy's arm off before they both go flying into the lake. The two teens also jump into the lake to avoid the explosion. The couple crawl out of the water onto the dock which is (Mostly) still there for some reason but see Freddy walking towards them with Jason's Machete. Just as he is about to make one last attempt at killing the teenagers we see Freddy's claw impale him from behind. It's Jason using Freddy's own arm as a weapon against him then he falls in the lake.Shocked by the attack Freddy falls to his knees and drops the Machete so the girl picks it up and slices Freddy's head off setting off an attractive water fountain of blood as his head flies into the lake and his body follows. Thinking it's over the couple high-tail it out of there... BUT!!!.. Are you ready for this?.. In another shot we see Jason emerge from the water holding Freddy's head which looks dead but then he winks and we hear his laughter. CREDITS!

(I don't know if it's intentional or not but letting the audience know both are alive does open up a gateway for new movies in each franchise. For Jason this is in 2009 and Freddy 2010)


I enjoyed this movie because you had the typical elements of both movies (I should have watched all the Nightmare on Elm Street movies before reviewing this really)and they don't really combine until the last battle although the are aware of each other and i think that's what keeps you excited throughout the movie because you;re looking forward to seeing the two evils battle in a fight where there's no predictable out come because there is no good or bad and i imagine it drew in quite a large audience because they bought two franchises together and each fanbase would want their franchise to win. I wanted Jason to win. as much as the movies have been getting on my nerves a bit he is still my favorite out of the two. I really did love this movie though (and this is just me being picky) in the final scene there's a bit of a continuity error. Jason is standing above Freddy and Freddy is on the floor trying to drag himself away but then the angle changed and suddenly Freddy is stood up and fighting. It bothered me.

****
4/5 stars for this

FANTASTIC movie!

Tomorrow we end this with: Friday the 13th (2009)

REVIEW! Jason X (2001)

Two more films to go:

Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)




SPOILER ALERT!!!



How do i even describe this movie? sheesh. Let's start with why Jason is suddenly on earth? Literally at the end of the last film we say him dragged into hell with badly animated hands. According to the Wiki page it is set 5 years after "Freddy vs Jason" but that film didn't come out until 2003 so obviously the page is wrong or they had planned to make "Freddy vs Jason" during the or before "Jason Goes to Hell".
Production was delayed, maybe? anyway some shit happens and Jason gets put into an "Ice Pod" to preserve his body but he stabs the door and it leeks freezing both him and some other woman. They are found and revived 445 years later in 2455. They unfreeze the lady and for some reason Jason unfreezes and murders people (As usual) no real important characters. Small group left and are being chased by Jason. Luckily some guys robot girlfriend shows up and becomes all badass and destroys Jason. It is this point they get a response from their distress signal and will be rescued in 45 minutes but one half of the ship is damaged and going down. The figure that is the disconnect one side of the ship from the broken half they can wait out the rescue in the better half and this is going well until the machine that heals people begins healing Jason and just as they're about to blow up the other half of the ship MECHA JASON STROLLS RIGHT ON IN! like "Sup".

He's too advanced for the lady robot to fight and they all run on the good half and blow up the half Jason in son. That's all good and stuff but he was clinging on to the door and is smashing his way through so they have to run to the escape place to be rescued. shit happens. They almost all die but like two of them and robot lady are saved. Jason falls to the new earth and into a lake, of course there's a couple there to go "Check it out". The End.



This... This was just awful. I was dreading watching this because i've never heard anyone say a nice word about this movie so my reaction isn't as big because i was set up for disapointment but.. Bad, bad, bad movie. I don't recommend anybody watch this ever in their whole life. That's 93 minutes of my life i'll never get back and on top of that around another 40 minutes writing this review on how bad it is. I'm ready to walk away now and pretend this movie never existed.



-5/5 stars
That bad.



Tomorrows review: Freddy vs Jason (2003)

REVIEW! Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

Yet another awful film for me to rant about, slate and give a terrible description of the plot.

So close to finishing

Only three more days left!

Jason X (2001)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)



SPOILER ALERT!!!



This movie was just... AWFUL! In the beginning some sexy lady is having a bath, Jason chases her. She runs out. Turns out it was a trap set by the FBI and they destroy Jason (Finally!) It was this point where i though "Man, this movie might be good" but i was quickly proved wrong. We find out that Jason's heart is still beating and for some reason a guy eats the hear... This bit was never explained. According to the Wiki page (My back up for fact checking) he is hypnotized by the heart but i don;t think this was explained or shown very will in the film. But anyway the dude eats the heart.

(Eh? You see the reference i made there?)

And Jason takes over his body i guess? So now Jason is a body snatcher it's time to leave the morgue and make his way back to Crystal Lake. Or is it? We find out that Jason is looking for his family. WHAAAAAT JASON HAS FAMILY?! Yeah, the plot holes. anyway apparently Jason had a sister who has never been mentioned somehow. Okay, i just read that Diana was Jason's half-sister but that begs the question. Who would fuck crazy Mrs. Voorhees twice?! Okay so he is not looking for the family to be reunited, he actually is looking for them because all the bodies he uses are decaying quickly for some reason and if he puts his heart in another Voorhees his old body will be restored. So he finds Diana and kills her but is thrown out the window by Steve (Diana's daughter's ex boyfriend) so he cant put his hear inside of her. How does one put one's heart in anothers body? well it comes out through the mouth and i kinda looks like poop. So next he has to look for Diana's daughter Jessica who has a baby. Bodies get snatched. People die. Jessica finds out that the only thing that can kill Jason permanently is with a special blade that will only work in the hands of a Voorhees. After a drawn out process of losing the blade under a cabinet and Jason getting his body back because Diana's body was hidden under the floor boars (some scandal i forgot to mention) and Steve trying to fist fight Jason eventually Jessica finally kills Jason. Huge hands come from the ground and drag him down. Jessica and Steve kiss. Where the fuck is the baby?! It's not explained.

Now are you ready for that plot twist ending?! i bet you are! Ready? Here we go!

THE MASK IS STILL LEFT ON THE GROUND AND FREDDY KREUGER'S HAND COMES OUT OF THE GROUND AND PULLS THE MASK INTO THE FLOOR WHICH I SUPPOSE MEANS THEY'RE BOTH IN HELL EVEN THOUGH AS FAR AS I KNOW FREDDY WAS NEVER ACTUALLY KILLED! (I've only watched one of the Nightmare on Elm Street films and it was the really old one). 

There was one bit I liked and it was the ending with Freddy's hand because it made me laugh and sets up for two movies time when they do Freddy vs Jason (which i have watched parts of but never the whole thing) Other than that this movie was really shit. The body stealing and how the heart turns into the parasite looking thing and moves across the floor before getting into Diana. The whole set up an execution was just terrible. This franchise needs to stop now, they're taken it too far and it's shit. Not to mention Jason's killing style dramatically changed in this film. There was a part where he took a character (i believe it was a police officer ) and strapped him down and for some reason began to roughly shave him.

(Oh shit. Another reference!)

I'm sat there thinking.. "Jason doesn't plan and torture people. He just gets the job done. Why is this here. It looks like a set up for some kind of torture porn". I have no idea what they were thinking when they released this film. It's that bad! i don't think i even want to discuss it furether because i'll go into a full blown rant.

Another 0/5 stars

Tomorrows Review: Jason X (2001) 

 (apparently this the the worst one out of all of them)

REVIEW! Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhatton (1989)

(Note: This was supposed to go up yesterday but the wifi wasn't working. Sorry for it being a day late)

Hmmm. Let's get this show on the road then.

Only 4 more days to go guys:

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Jason X (2001)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)

SPOILER ALERT!




No, Just no. I hated this movie so much! Might as well get started on this completely predictable plot. Okay, a young couple are on a house boat and one of then drops the anchor on some kind of power line that awakens Jason. Surely the electric mixing with the water would be a bit more noticeable. Jason comes on board kills the couple then somehow gets on another boat leaving for New York. On that boat there's a girl with child-hood trauma due to Jason trying to pull her down and drown her after her uncle pushed her in the lake trying to teach her how to swim. Of course now she's scared of water and she doesn't know why because suppressed memories and shit. A lot of people die. Some kind of romance between the captains son and trauma girl. They think they've escaped Jason when they get in a life boat and row their way to New York. When they get their Trauma girl get's kidnapped, drugged and almost raped but what is this?! Jason has turned up and killed the fuckers. Jason kills the other needless characters. Some how they wind up in the sewers that for some reason will be filled with toxic waste 10 minutes (something to do with cleaning) The two loved up protagonists miss the toxic waste by climbing up the ladder but Jason gets caught in it and all the skin comes off and stuff but when it's all cleared out Jason is a dead little boy (I don't fucking know either). And that's the film.

No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no, NO! What even was this film? I found myself sat waiting for it to end. And what was that ending about? surely in the next movie it's not going to be kid Jason killing people, right? As you could tell i was struggling to even type out the plot without getting bored. What even is this shit?

0/5 stars. Awful. Just awful.

Tomorrows Review: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

REVIEW! Friday the 13th:The New Blood (1988)

All i'm going to say for this intro is... Jason vs Carrie

Forgot what is coming up in the next 5 days?

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Jason X (2001)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)






WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE AND OPINIONS AHEAD!



SPOILER ALERT!!

Right, okay. I don;t think i'm ready to share my opinion JUST yet so let me walk you through the plot. Jason is once again dead. He stayed put under the water. Tina, our brand new protagonist has Telekinetic powers... Yeah, i know. When she was seven she lived on Crystal Lake with her Mother and Father when one night she sees her Father hit her Mother and runs out to the dock and into a boat with the Father chasing her and apologizing at this point she shouts "I wish you were dead" and the dock caves in on him causing him to drown. there's the back story. Her doctor claims he is trying to help her with her deep set issues but as we find out later on only has plans to expose her gift for his own benefit but now i'm getting ahead of myself. They are going back to visit Crystal Lake for a while because the doctor wants to provoke her telekinesis to understand it better but tells them it's for her own good. When they arrive at Crystal Lake which i assume has been re-named Crystal Lake because in the last movie it was called Forest Green or this is just set before "Jason Lives" although the wiki page says it is set "Years after the previous film" so.. continuity error? They are greeted by a bunch of teens staying next door to throw a surprise party for their friend (Our other Protagonist Rick's cousin). After a night of emotional torture from the doctor Tina runs out to the dock and uses her power to try awaken her father but... DUN DUN DUUUUN It's Jason. So now Jason has once again risen from the dead we're in for a lot of slaughter and can i just take a minute to say i preferred Mrs. Voorhee's approach to killing. Simple slit throat, none of the fancy stuff.
Jason kills Rick's cousin but nobody knows because they're all waiting to throw him a surprise party and know it could be a few days before he arrives. Rick invites Tina to this party and she goes because her Mother thinks it will be good for her but when she's there she gets a vision of the cousin's dead body and runs home where she tries to explain what she saw to her mother and the doctor who both think it was just a delusion. Anyway we carry on like this, Jason kills people. Sexy Rick finds out about Carrie's, I mean Tina's powers. I don't care too much for the other one's deaths but Tina's Mum's death annoyed me because get this. THE DOCTOR PUSHED HER INTO JASON TO SAVE HIMSELF! THAT CUNT! I literally shouted that out when it happened.
From here Tina is constantly trying to kill Jason using her powers, and we get a good look at Jason's face (It's been a while). And i think Jason s dead again because Jason Chases them out to the dock and pushes Rick away into a boat so Tina uses her powers to revive her Father who crashes through the dock, wraps a chain around Jason's neck and drags him under the water. Then as usual the lady passes out and wakes up in a hospital bed. WHERE'S MY PLOT TWIST ENDING?!


Okay, i think i'm mentally prepared enough to speak about this... I think i liked this movie. The parts were very hit and miss, some parts were really engaging and others, not so much. I didn't like how they bought Telepathic powers into it but damn, they did it well. I have only watched two movies that have pulled it off and they're X-men and Carrie. It definitely didn't feel like like a Friday the 13th film and but i like that they didn't just re-use a story line or bring Tommy back again. I just don't know, I'm so conflicted


I think i need to give this a 3.5 stars because it IS very in between.



I guess you should come back for tomorrows review: Friday the 13th: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

REVIEW! Friday the 13th Jason Lives (1986)

We've made it this far, but we're not out of the woods yet.

The usual possibly annoying reminder of what is to come in the next 6 days

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Jason X (2001)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)




WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE AND OPINIONS AHEAD!



SPOILER ALERT!!!

Oh my gosh, deep down i want to hate this one but i actually really enjoyed it. The beginning was just too ridiculous but god i enjoyed it. Ok so the beginning confused me a bit because Tommy is the main character again and i'm like.. whaaaat? shouldn't he be in prison for killing that woman in the last movie? Why is there no mention of that? Hold on a second, i'm looking this shit up. FOR ONCE I WAS RIGHT! He did kill Pam. I want to know if he got sent to prison or not! annnywaay, Tommy thinks that the only way he can stop illusions of Jason is by going to the graveyard, digging up his body and burning it, but of course it doesn't go to plan. (I Forgot to mention that Tommy has a very twitchy friend with him) The two men dig up Jasons body and when the coffin is opened Tommy goes a bit nuts and starts stabbing the body with a metal pole leaving it in as he gets the petrol and lighter to bun the body but lighting strokes the pole and some how Jason comes back to life and kills Tommy's friend. Tommy gets in his car and drives to warn the police who just think he's a nut job and put him in a cell.
When morning comes the sheriffs hot daughter Megan and her friends come in complaining that the new counselors for the new opening camp on Crystal Lake (Now re-named Forest Green but let's just keep referring to it as Crystal Lake) have not shown up and they'll be working there all by them selves and Tommy tries to warn them about Jason but they also think he's just crazy but of course this turns Megan on. anyway they begin working but this time the kids actually show up and I'm sat here like "Ohhh fuck those kids are going to be brutally murdered". It's all going well and dandy UNTIL THE COUNSELORS START GETTING PICKED OFF ONE BY ONE BY A GUY IN A MASK!But this time the victims are not as dense as the last few movies for example when a couple encounter Jason on the road the lady says " I've seen enough horror movies to know any weirdo wearing a mask is never friendly. " Common sense.
Ok so hot Megan helps Tommy out of the cell so they can track down Jason and kill him but by the time they get there all their friends and the police officers are dead (Including hot chicks dad) but none of the children are harmed *Phew* Tommy lures Jason out into the water and manages to get a chain around his neck and a huge rock thinking that he will sink and suffocate then he will rest forever because that's how he died in the first place here comes the plot twist. WE SEE JASON'S EYE MOVING WHILE HE'S STILL UNDER THE WATER!

Jesus Christ i really really thought i'd hate this film but i didn't. I enjoyed it so so so much and now i'm looking forward to watching the next one just because i'm starting to care about the characters more because they're not completely thick and like "Oh look an unlit room with noises coming from it, better check it by myself with no protection or weapon". I'm really starting to wonder why they keep opening things on Crystal Lake like is 5 killings sprees on that location not just tempting fate? and if you're going to open something up there STOP HAVING SEX! damn horny teenagers! Oh, i've just had to come back to add this because i think it's kinda important. I absolutely love how obviously Jason has come back stronger bit there are points where he pauses to look at something as if he himself cannot believe his own strength, It's a really nice touch but he also has another new trait too... Possibly a soft spot? He had many many chances to kill the kids, he even came face to face with one but he didn't kill them where as normally he would just instantly kill this time he didn't. He walked away. I don't know i guess i'll find out in the next movie.

****
Right this film gets 4/5 stars

Tomorrows Review: Friday the 13th: The New Blood (1988)

REVIEW! Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

This film was a whole lotta NOPE! Let me explain why.
Here's a reminder of what is to come in the next 7 days

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)
Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (1993)
Jason X (2001)
Freddy vs Jason (2003)
Friday the 13th (2009)

SPOILER ALERT!!!

SO, this time we are in a sort of correctional facility for mental people where Tommy (now 15) has been sent but guess what? JASON HAS RETURNED (I'm cutting this very short because i assume if you're reading the review you've already watched it or you just really enjoy spoilers) after an incident at the correctional facility where one of the patients got annoyed with another and swung an axe into him. So paramedics come to take the body and from there on out "Jason" is making his killings again. Now, if your wondering why i put quotation marks around Jason it's because the killer is not Jason. He is the paramedic disguised as Jason and this is where we find out that the guy who was killed at the beginning was the paramedics son and he was taking revenge but of course a bunch of dreams and accusations lead us to believe it's really Jason. So they kill fake Jason by pushing him out the barn, slicing his hand off leaving him to drop on a bunch of spikes there the mask falls off and ta-daaaa, not Jason. Now for the ever so famous Friday the 13th plot twist ending. Tommy who has once again survived the massacre is laying in bed and has a dream that he kills his friend who's come to check on him. He wakes up all sweaty and stands up walking over to a draw where we see Jason's mask in it. suddenly we're in the hallway focusing on the friend coming to visit when she hears a smashing sound, she runs in to see if he's alright but he is no where to be seen and the window is smash but... And here comes the plot twist, are you ready?! TOMMY IS BEHIND HER IN THE HOCKEY MASK WITH A KNIFE *Que dramatic screaming*

And that was Friday the 13th: A New Beginning.
So here's my question, Is that it for the real Jason? Is Tommy from now on going to be impersonating Jason? Or does real Jason come back as hinted in the next film's title "Jason Lives"? and a final question, how long are they going to milk this thing?

I appreciate the new approach and the more realistic feel to this one (Apart from the weird ass neighbors. What was the point of them again?) and when I say more realistic, i mean more realistic than the past ones. There's a lot more titties in this one too so immediate thumbs up for that but the franchise is getting worn out again. I just don't see why the paramedic went through such effort to be a copycat Jason when he could have just as easily got himself a different mask and also why he targeted everyone in the area instead of just the guy who killed his son. the kid was cool though, really reminded me of the kid from Role-Models. Also just like to take a moment to point out (This was bothering me so much that i couldn't figure out where i recognized him from) the person who played young Tommy is was also in Lost boys and The Goonies.

**

I'll give is a respectable 2/5 stars

Tomorrows Review: Friday the 13th Jason Lives (Here we go again...)